7 guys you will definitely meet when online dating

Updated: Sep 19, 2018

#BlackGirlSingle #OnlineDating

If you're a #BlackGirlSingle whose ever tried online dating, you know this face all too well.

I don't know about you, but am I the only one who thinks online dating has lost it's luster? There was a time when each new message felt like an exciting gift ready to be unwrapped. And those messages led to witty phone calls and then charming dates worthy of leaving your house on a Friday night. But in recent years, something happened. Something changed. And it changed for the worst. Perhaps it's because men like these realized there was an even lazier way to pick up women. Beware, Ladies! Beware!

The Dream Seller

This is the guy that constantly calls and messages you. He dotes on you with compliments. He’s willing to spend hours on the phone at night talking about marriage, children, and his plans for the future. You’ve even caught him talking about a future with you in it. But it’s been three weeks since you gave him your number and you still haven’t met him. He tells you he’s going to take you out to somewhere special, even tells you to get your hair and nails done. But every weekend rolls around and he has a “conflict”. This man is a seller of dreams. He says everything women want to hear, yet has no intention of following through. He’s bored, has a girlfriend or wife, is catfishing you, or may even be locked up. Either way, he has zero intention of ever meeting you unless it’s to hook up… and he’s not pressed to even do that. He’s just passing the time talking to you until he figures his own life out. Delete, block, and ignore this man. Your time and energy are precious.

The Misogynist who hates all women including his mama

You ever notice that while some men like women, they don’t really like women. You know the type, you go out with him and while he seems cool he’s constantly saying ugly things about women right to your face. Whether it’s calling women B’s, commenting on us all being gold diggers, or even saying nasty things about his mama, he seems to have some serious issues with our gender. He lets you know if a woman hits him, he’s knocking her tf out and that the system is out to make men suffer just for not wanting to marry their stank a** baby mama. This dude is a black eye waiting to happen… RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!

The one that could’ve been a contender, but something’s just not right

You guys met online and have been seeing each other for a few months. This guy is everything you want. Good on paper, down for Jesus, and he’s not bad looking. But something is just not right. He’s got communication issues! And not the normal male species communication defects we’re all used to like tuning you out while playing XBOX or watching the game. This guy can’t seem to effectively articulate his feelings. He shuts down. He’s moody. He ignores you. Then you remember all those side comments about his childhood and absent dad and it dawns on you. This sweet man doesn’t have a model for healthy relationships. There’s a reason he’s fine, never been married or engaged, is almost 40, and still online dating . His communication deficiencies hold him back and you’re not the first to notice. This choice is yours to make, but remember, communication is key to a healthy relationship.

The thirsty to procreate dude

This is a new kind of guy. He’s 38-45 and has no children. He’s scared. He’s thirsty. He’s like an animal in the wild seeking someone, anyone to drop his seed in to. Why is this man so thirsty to procreate? Because he spent his 20s and 30s wilding out and now needs to do his one job as a man… spread his seed. What’s great about this guy is that he has a goal and is on a timetable, so he won’t waste your time. But you’ll never know if he’s really into you or just your age, looks, and fertility-- the trappings of a good baby incubator. This guy is hard to walk away from. He means well and wants what you want. Tread lightly, take your time, and don’t let timetables dictate your choice… God doesn’t work off of your timing or this thirsty man. Remember Sarah and Abraham?

The Uncle that lies about his age

Have you ever received a message from a 30 year old guy and when you clicked on his profile picture he was clearly 60+? Or worse, you actually went out with the guy and immediately realized his pics were 15 years old. They did look sorta grainy after all. Yes, this trick is common, and sometimes it can actually get you. You enjoy his conversation, you haven’t met anyone you’ve clicked with in a while, he’s feeding you which is rare for men your age, so maybe you should give him a shot? Don’t date him girl! He’s a liar. And has an AARP card. It’s too soon for that hunty.

The African prince

This guy is typically on the Christian dating sites. He admits that he lives far away, but believes God can bring you two together. He speaks in scriptures and writes with an actual accent… no idea how, but he does. You have nothing in common except being Black and Christian, but that’s enough for him. He messages you everyday, despite you ignoring him. You block him. He creates another account just to message you some more. He’s persistent. You miss persistent men. He’s interested. You miss interested men. But this persistence and interest ain’t sexy and will eventually turn to him asking for your social security number. Pass.

The F boy who is too cool for school and barely interested in you

If you’ve spent any significant amount of time online dating, you’ve definitely met this guy. He comes in many different packages. Sometimes he’s hot, sometimes he’s not. Sometimes he’s the good on paper guy, sometimes he’s stuck at 24 professionally and financially. He often has a cool haircut and dope beard game. But either way his M.O. is still the same. He’s inconsistent and inconsiderate. He’s just not pressed. And he’s clearly seeing a lot of other girls because online dating is a sport for him. He sends you WYD and WYA texts at midnight and always slides sex into your conversations. If you start hanging out with him, it’s only at your place or his, and sex is always his priority. He’s what millennials call an F Boy. You’ll typically find this guy on free dating apps. STAY AWAY! His nickname says everything. He’s a boy with only one thing on his mind. You will end up pissed off, hurt, and praying those test results come back negative.

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