VISION + PURPOSE = A MOVEMENT
"Most people can't get to the pureness of a God written love story because they taint it with lust before it's even off the ground".
The Black Girl Single series was born out of a year of really crappy dating experiences. I was 32 and within less than 9 months had been broken up with on both my birthday and Valentine's Day... by two different men via text. Yes, my feelings were hurt. And sure, I was angry. But more than anything, I was frustrated with the state of my life. How was I at this age and still foolish enough to deal with guys who could discount me so easily? And I wasn't alone. Many of my single friends were in this same situation-- a wilderness where we were perpetually single and only coming across men who just weren't serious.
After years of online dating, first dates that went nowhere, and situationships that led to tears, friends encouraged me to write about my often comedic single girl journey. During this time I licked my wounds, prayed, and gave birth to Black Girl Single. It was also in this time that God pressed upon my heart to stop doing things my way and to give his way a try. Since my ways were clearly not working, I gave in. I decided sex had no place in my dating life and that if a man wanted to connect with me, he'd have to do it with clothes on.
Before I scare you off, I realize the idea of celibacy, and for some of you God, is an immediate turn off. And for that, this may not be for you. But if you're tired of the game and yearning for peace in this area of your life, stick with me.
I chose to eliminate sex for two reasons. The first reason wasn't the most holy of reasons. I was sick of feeling like I was giving more than I was getting and tired of letting unworthy men get what they wanted, while I wasn't getting any of what I wanted. I was through with empowering patriarchy and misogyny by letting men have casual fun while I blindly thought I was being mindful, progressive, and in control of my body. In other words, I was fed up. But the second reason was because I realized my approach to dating was wrong. The world's approach was wrong and God could do better than that. The bible commands that husbands love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself to it (Ephesians 5:25). Uh, I don't know about you, but I'm trying to find that kind of love! And I finally understand that love that pure and sacrificial takes discipline. Hence why so many of us are struggling to find it. Most people can't get to the pureness of a God written love story because they taint it with lust before it's even off the ground. But this I guarantee-- that kind of love does exist, good men exist, and we are worthy of it all if we are willing to submit and believe that God is able.
It's my hope that the Black Girl Single series encourages you to date differently and with purpose. Set a new standard for yourself and the men you date by taking sex off the dating table. And make time to build a personal relationship with God through prayer.
So please watch and share the the series. Check in with us regularly for funny and encouraging anecdotes, subscribe, follow us on Instagram and Facebook, and please tell your single friends. We have the power to change the culture of dating, let's do it!